In this teleplay, an angel, Tabris (Tab), and a demon, Lilith, who are both sent to collect the soul of a recently-departed man whom they discover belongs neither in Heaven nor Hell. The following is the opening scene:
FADE IN:
EXT./EST. NEIGHBORHOOD BAR & GRILL - NIGHT
This joint could easily be a Chili’s or an Applebee’s or a Ruby Tuesday’s, and this could take place in any one of a dozen small New England towns.
It snows lightly. A healthy blanket of powder already coats the ground at the parking lot’s edges.
WAITRESS (V.O.) Are you ready to order yet?
CUT TO:
INT. NEIGHBORHOOD BAR & GRILL - NIGHT
TAB looks up from the short stack of paperwork in front of her to find a young WAITRESS looming impatiently over the booth in the corner where she sits.
TAB
I’m sorry. What?
WAITRESS
(sighs)
I said, are you ready to order yet?
TAB
Oh. No.
(beat; returns to her papers)
Thank you.
WAITRESS
Well, do you want a drink or something while you wait?
TAB
No, thank you. I’m fine.
WAITRESS
(beat)
You really should order something, ma’am.
TAB
Why is that, exactly?
WAITRESS
Because if you don’t order something, you’re just loitering.
TAB
And management frowns on that, I take it.
WAITRESS
It’s just that--
TAB
(reading her papers)
It’s just that it’s late, the grill’s about to close, and you wanna go home, because while you are rude, you’re not stupid, and you deduced from the moment I sat down five and a half minutes ago that the tip I was planning to leave you was going to be worth less than the effort you’d have to put into serving me.
(finally looking up)
Does that sound about right, or is it that I’m the last person seated in your section, which means until I cash out, you can’t run out of here and speed back to your apartment in enough time to grab a shower and have sex with your roommate’s boyfriend before she gets home from her night job at the Krispy Kreme?
(beat; smiles)
It’s all right... Becky, is it? You and I haven’t met. I really could not be less interested in this most recent episode of the vapid and self-aggrandizing second-rate reality show you jokingly refer to as your life... but four years from now, on an unseasonably warm night in late October, when you climb behind the wheel of your certified pre-owned Volkswagen Jetta after one too many Jell-O shots, I’m gonna be there and we’re gonna do this again, and on that night, I assure you that I will care a great deal about the life you’ve chosen to lead.
(beat)
Now go away.
Becky checks herself, stunned into an unnerved silence, then kinda fades away into the kitchen.
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