A Theater Near You is a half-hour, live-action comedy-drama about a group of movie theater managers/employees in the fictional town of Wellington, Pennsylvania. In this episode, S1E02, "The Business of Winning," recently-promoted General Manager Dean deals with conducting interviews to fill his newly-vacated assistant manager position, running afoul of the brilliant Shelby in the tumultuous process.
INT. LOBBY - NIGHT
Dean and Wally walk through the lobby, taking in the large number of PATRONS coming in for the sneak preview.
WALLY
How’s the hiring going?
DEAN
I spent half an hour today defending Arnold Schwarzenegger’s body of work to some guy.
WALLY
Was that hard?
DEAN
Have you seen End of Days?
WALLY
Has anyone seen End of Days?
DEAN
(beat)
Touche.
As they walk, they pick up an attractive young woman about Dean’s age. She wears jeans, a hooded Notre Dame sweatshirt, and her hair pulled into a ponytail. She is SHELBY RHODES.
SHELBY
Excuse me? I’m looking for Dean Strevel.
DEAN
You won the jackpot, sister. He is me.
SHELBY
You’re the General Manager?
DEAN
I am, but the post is yours for fifty bucks and a chicken sandwich. What can I do for you, Miss...
SHELBY
Rhodes. Shelby Rhodes.
DEAN
Like the wrestler.
SHELBY
That’s Dusty Rhodes.
DEAN
You know wrestling?
SHELBY
I know my name.
DEAN
Who are you?
SHELBY
I’m Shelby Rhodes. I’m here about the management position. My paperwork was faxed in already.
DEAN
We have a fax machine?
WALLY
Indoor plumbing, too.
DEAN
Well, that I knew. Step into my office, Miss Rhodes.
They enter--
INT. STAIRWELL - CONTINUOUS
SHELBY
This is your office?
DEAN
Ha. Let’s say, for the sake of argument, that I do have a fax machine.
SHELBY
This hypothetical sounds vaguely entertaining.
DEAN
Your resume must be pretty impressive.
SHELBY
I felt I selected a striking font.
DEAN
I say that because you’re dressed like you work at an Old Navy.
SHELBY
Banana Republic, Mr. Strevel, please.
DEAN
Most people tend to dress better for an interview.
SHELBY
I think I look nice.
DEAN
You’re wearing a Notre Dame hoodie.
SHELBY
It came with my Master’s.
They step out into--
INT. PROJECTION BOOTH - CONTINUOUS
DEAN
I don’t have you down for an interview.
SHELBY
There’s a reason for that.
DEAN
You thought if you showed up unannounced, I’d just be impressed by your gumption?
SHELBY
I’m sorry, my what?
DEAN
Your gumption. Your initiative.
SHELBY
Ah.
DEAN
You didn’t learn that word at Notre Dame?
SHELBY
No, but Notre Dame isn’t in the Ozarks.
DEAN
You’ve got a bit of a sharp tongue.
SHELBY
It’s also forked and silver. Most meals I don’t even need utensils.
Dean takes Shelby into--
INT. MAIN OFFICE - CONTINUOUS
DEAN
Have a seat anywhere you want.
Dean moves a stack of papers, revealing a fax machine buried underneath. He takes her resume from the tray, then turns to find Shelby has taken a seat behind his desk.
SHELBY
You said anywhere.
DEAN
So I did.
SHELBY
How’s the sneak preview looking?
DEAN
Filling up. I don’t think it’s gonna sell out, but -- I’m sorry, let’s -- can -- I wanna get back to you here for a--
SHELBY
Of course. Ask me anything you want.
DEAN
Yes, I know how to conduct an interview. Um, let’s see here. What--
SHELBY
Makes me wanna be a theater manager?
DEAN
Assistant Manager.
SHELBY
No, General Manager.
DEAN
This theater has a General Manager.
SHELBY
For the moment.
DEAN
I’m -- what?
SHELBY
People don’t take flying lessons so they can become copilots.
DEAN
What would... um...
SHELBY
I attended Notre Dame where I majored in Business Economics and minored in Theatre. That’s R-E, denoting sets and stages, not E-R, denoting popcorn and sticky floors.
DEAN
No offense taken. Economics and Theatre? You were hoping to play both producer and director when you got out into the world?
SHELBY
I never play, Mr. Strevel.
DEAN
You never play?
SHELBY
I don’t.
DEAN
What does that mean?
SHELBY
What does it sound like?
DEAN
You have an interesting conversational style, you know that?
SHELBY
Force of habit. In my business, I do more talking at people than talking with them.
DEAN
And what business is that?
SHELBY
The business of winning.
DEAN
You can’t win if you don’t play, Miss Rhodes.
SHELBY
You can if you’re me, Mister Strevel.
DEAN
The business of winning?
SHELBY
Yes.
DEAN
That doesn’t really sound like something normal people say.
SHELBY
Normal people don’t have an IQ of 145.
DEAN
Neither do most nuclear physicists.
SHELBY
Sissies.
DEAN
If you’re so smart--
SHELBY
Why am I here?
DEAN
Yeah.
SHELBY
I love a good movie.
DEAN
Then you’re really in the wrong place. No bull, what are you doing here?
SHELBY
If you knew that, you’d be as smart as me. Well, maybe not as smart as me, but at least as smart as a nuclear physicist.
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